


don't you know I'm no good for you

by leo_fae (orphan_account)



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alfred being the only sane person in this household, All dem feelz, Angst, Character Death, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Dick/Barbara (mentioned) - Freeform, Dick/Wally (mentioned), I tried to follow the actual timeline, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd is Robin, M/M, Nightwing - Freeform, bruce being dad, duh - Freeform, he's robin first but then he dies duh so then he's red hood, pls don't be too hard on me thx, redhood - Freeform, slow updates too probably im sorry, slowburn, when the party's over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22139074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/leo_fae
Summary: so this is my take on jaydick, I tried to follow the actual timeline and be canon with all the stuff that happens. it starts when dick becomes nightwing and moves out to bludhaven.it's my first time publishing something I wrote in English, it's not my mother tongue so please don't be too hard on me.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 10
Kudos: 59





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> so the beginning is a little rushed in some parts because I didn't want it to become too boring...
> 
> if something is unclear please lmk so I can fix!
> 
> I don't know what else to say, I'm bad at these
> 
> enjoy and leave a comment, if you like!
> 
> ps: i have a jason todd playlist on Spotify if someone is interested and I also (obviously) was listening to when the partys over by billie eilish the whole time bc for me it just fits this paring really good, so I recommend you listen to it too

The narrow alleys were empty. They all heard of him by now. It didn’t take long for the word to spread, obviously. 

The cool wind hit his face as he grappled himself onto the next rooftop and landed silently. Everything around him was making noise but he left it down on the ground every time he took off into the air. It was like someone shut his brain off. 

As a child he had loved it when he was swinging through the air, letting go of the bar he held on to, just flying. People always gasped in shock, such a young child doing such dangerous things. He had loved it, savoured every sound they’d make, it made him proud. He could do something that they couldn’t. Experienced something that most people never came close to in their whole life. It made him feel special.

Now, every time he felt the soft, strong air hit his face as he leaped off of an almost too high roof, he could still hear them in his head. 

The blue did suit him better than the red and green and yellow. What even was this for a color scheme? He came out of a circus but did he have to look like a clown? 

Sometimes he even thinks about if his choice of clothing was ever age appropriately. Probably not, considering he was doing backflips in spanks and a pantie. Come on, it wasn’t more than that. Sometimes less though. Thinking back to what he wore to his first patrols, he wanted to sink into the ground right away. He found it cool then, but could you blame a child about that? 

He was ready to go on on his own now. The child was long gone and he didn’t depend on anyone anymore. He didn’t need Bruce and he would show him that. The decision to move to Bludhaven was the best he ever made. Next to overthinking his clothing style. 

His new job at the police only contributed to his confidence. Showing Bruce he was able to fight crime at night and still go to police school and become an officer. It was something he couldn’t shake off. The need to contribute to justice, even when he was not in his suit. He knew how compromising his two lifestyles were, but he was not going to get up either. Because of his ‘work’ (as you’d like to call it) with Bruce, he knew how fucked up and corrupted the justice system was and if he could contribute to making it better, he wouldn’t back down from it.

Dick was, obviously, still angry at Bruce for finding a new robin that quickly, but that’s what business is like. It was like that at Hayley’s too. If someone quit it didn’t take long till someone took their place. That’s business.  
The Badge was passed on but Dick was sure that he would never lose the title of boy wonder. And for that he tried to hate Bruce. Like he was a child who couldn’t take care of himself. He tried, but he couldn’t really, because how could he ever hate Bruce? Deep down he knew that, loved him like his father, but Dick tried to hate him.

It was quiet today. Dick came to a halt on a rooftop of a church and crouched down next to a Jesus that only had one hand and one foot left. Try walking on water now.

He pulled out his phone and saw he had a message from Jason, who was sending him a secret selfie he did with Bruce brooding in the background. Dick liked the kid, even though he was a little jealous at him, but who was he to ever even admit that to himself. 

As he entered his new apartment, leaving the criminal hunting for the rest of the day to his actual work colleagues, and bought a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he stopped. He indeed looked good in black and blue. How could he ever wear anything else? 

Alfred invited, or more bribed him, to come to the manor the next day. Although Dick still wasn’t on good terms with Bruce, he couldn’t let Alfred down. He was the only one holding this crappy small family together. 

As he arrived, he was greeted by Alfred who guided him to the kitchen. On one of the chairs Dick spotted Jason, who slid down so far that he almost slipped completely off the chair. But as he saw who was entering the kitchen, his face lighted up a little bit. 

„Hey, Jason“, Dick threw a slight smile at him and sat down next to him. He still didn’t understand how Jason was all mushy about being Robin but he knew he was the same when he first got the cape. It had been all new and exciting. Being trusted with hunting down criminals - or more playing bait for them so Bruce could hunt them down. He didn’t see the down sides then.

„How’s it going?“ 

Dick knew Jason tried to stay as ‚cool‘ as possible, but Dick knew fair well how to read people and Jason hadn’t yet learned to hide something like excitement properly. There hadn’t been much in his life yet, apparently. Dick didn’t know much about where Jason came from, about his family, but he was clever enough not to ask. Empathetic enough, you could say. He didn’t want Jason to be forced to talk about something he didn’t want to talk about. Dick didn’t talk that much to Jason about serious stuff anyway.

Jason told him about how they had to fight Ivy’s new experiment what turned out to be a super humongous plant (what a surprise) that was supposed to keep scientists from killing more animals in labs, but ended up eating all the people and some of the animals.  
He was so excited about everything and continued to ramble about the new suit Bruce gave him and how cool it looked and what better gadgets there were on it. Dick listened but didn’t pay that much attention. He was here for Alfred anyway. 

Dick did have nothing against Jason but somewhere in his guts there was still this little bit of jealousy. Obviously he still didn’t commit that to himself. 

“Master Dick, would you like some tea? I just put the kettle on the stove for master Jason”, Alfred asked in his ever polite but loving manner and Dick could’t ever say no to this man. A few minutes later he got a warm steaming mug carefully shoved into his hands.

Dick continued to casually chat to Jason and finally talk to Alfred about things were going on since he was gone, making jokes here and there and having a good time. 

When Bruce finally stepped a foot into the Kitchen, it took Alfred a lot of convincing so Dick wouldn’t make a run for it. Somehow he even managed to kick Jason out, so that Bruce and Dick were then sitting at the table across one another and staring at their hands. (Like father like son I guess) 

Bruce was the first to talk after avoiding to look Dick in the eyes for what felt like two hours.

„I have to apologize.“  
He stood up and walked a bit back and forth, couldn’t sit still. Dick hadn’t seen him like this in a long time.

„Yeah“, Dick just blurted out and didn’t dare to look him in the eye. 

This was completely Bruce, no Batman in sight. 

„I think I said some things that were misunderstanding and I want to apologize“, Bruce repeated himself and took a deep breath. Dick looked up to him, finally, and only now saw how stressed out he looked. 

„I’m proud of you for taking the step and continuing on your own. I mean, you’re old enough now, I couldn’t hold you down any longer anyway“, he committed and made a pause, finally looking back at Dick, who was shocked at the honest expression on his foster fathers face.

Dick wasn’t sure if he was supposed to say something so he just stayed quiet. 

„But I’m still worried about you. And that’s nothing you can be mad about at me.“ 

He wanted to say something against this like how he was not a child anymore and could perfectly care for himself now, but the words died on his tongue and he realized, that it was also his fault this whole fight had started. So he stayed silent.

“Also I wanted to tell you that I’m proud of you for becoming an officer. I know how much this means to you. I’m happy for you.”  
And since this was probably the most sincere he ever witnessed Bruce be, Dick knew he had to forgive him. He already had long ago, but no one had to know that.

The following months were a blast for Dick. He visited the manor every now and then he was in Gotham because of the Titans. His life was getting busier with work, his friends and his sundown job. It was getting colder, fall was at it’s fullest and Dick tried very hard to spend all his freetime not sleeping in his bed, but going on casual Starbucks dates with Wally or meeting with Barbara again to ‘recap’ their relationship, what maybe ended with them having sex but agreeing later that both of them were too busy for a partner at the moment. 

Starbucks pumpkin spiced late and cheap junkfood was the only thing that kept Dick on his feet for at least three weeks until he almost passed out in his bedroom and slept a whole day. Luckily it was his day off and everyone in Gotham was too busy to notice that he wasn’t answering any texts. Dick swore to himself to never let it happen again but (who am I kidding) failed miserably at that. 

Thanksgiving came and he invited all his friends over to the manor to celebrate with them. Alfred always cooked for a whole army anyways and Dick loved the company of his loved ones. The whole evening resulted in Alfred trying to handle everything alone but Dick and Jason helping him anyways. Wally and Barbara bonded over Dick’s obsession with redheads (they both couldn’t keep their mouths shut) and Bruce’s shocked face as he learned that Dick had not also slept with Barbara but with Wally too. Luckily Jason had his phone already swiped out and managed to take a picture of Bruce’s face at that exact moment. He later proudly presented it as his lockscreen. Dick tried sink into the ground straight to hell, but they wouldn’t let him.

Christmas was more a ‘family only’ event, after that. They had fun nonetheless. It were the only holidays Alfred could get them all to stay in and enjoy a meal together rather than throwing punches at criminals in christmas hats, as Jason suggested. 

As soon as Christmas was over, Dick and Bruce found a new thing to fight about. Jason was bragging about going on solo missions and patrolling alone when Bruce had something important to do elsewhere. Dick’s jealousy bubbled up and he called Bruce angrily, asking him if he wanted Jason killed and throwing at his head (again) that he never got to do anything alone because Bruce didn’t trust him enough and saw him as a child.

He only said goodbye to Alfred, when he left for one of his Titans missions, to space for the first time. He didn’t hear anything from them for the whole time he was away.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here's the second one, it gets a bit more spicy in this one... still just kinda prologue but not really, just read it lol 
> 
> here's my Jason Todd playlist in case anyone of you wants to listen to the stuff I listen to while I write this train wreck 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1MNROJUAW4Fe4lN0Ws0Qx7?si=9NXrZXu1T3O-5AN455bnQQ
> 
> i also watched titans season two and don't know what to think of it... I loved dick's new suit and now I'm overall more motivated to do stuff in this fandom again
> 
> oh and btw lmk if you have any plot related points you would like to see in this or any prompts and I will try to make it happen

He received a text from Bruce, when he was back, a few months later, to meet him at the manor. Dick was pretty pissed off because it was the only thing he heard from Bruce since he left. 

It was prime time in means of traffic and Dick spent almost an hour stuck in the middle of Gotham. So he had time to think. 

What was it that Bruce trusted Jason better with everything? It was like he got replaced immediately after Bruce was sure he wasn’t coming back to being Robin, because fuck that. He was grown out of that, had his own back now and was ready to move on. If Bruce couldn’t see it, he could fuck off. And Dick was happy to tell him  
exactly that in case Bruce was gonna question anything about him or his work again.

When Dick arrived, Alfred didn’t open the door. It was Bruce and that was the first weird thing that evening. Alfred was nowhere to be seen and Dick couldn’t tell if Bruce told him to stay off or if it had a whole different reason. Bruce greeted him and told him he was glad Dick was back, but they had to talk. Of course.

Bruce‘s face was firm and emotionless as (almost) always though and Dick followed him into the kitchen of the manor, where he expected Alfred but it was empty. 

„Please sit down, Dick“, Bruce said in his serious Batman voice. He wasn’t Bruce right now, he was Batman. A thing Dick learned to differentiate from early on. 

„Okay, whatever you want to tell me, Bruce, it won’t get me back to Gotham and you have a new Robin now so you sure don’t want me back.“  
Dick was pissed off from the start, because whatever it was Bruce called him into the manor for, it was nothing casual or friendly or… anything that wasn’t about to question his ability. 

At the mention of Jason though, Bruce slipped out of his persona for a split second. It wasn’t long and it wasn’t much really but enough for Dick to notice. Of course he noticed, he was trained by the world‘s greatest detective. Duh. 

„Shoot“, Dick just said with a sigh and sat down. 

„We have to talk about Jason, Dick.“  
Bruce‘s face remained steady and Dick was confused. Did Jason quit, did he already have enough of Bruce‘s bullshit? No that couldn’t be it. He was always so motivated and encouraged. Maybe a bit too eager… sometimes…

„What is it, what did he do?“, Dick eventually said with a smirk and sank deeper into the chair. He prepared to hear about some shenanigans Jason did that Bruce blamed Dick for.

For what was coming out of Bruce’s mouth next, he was not prepared.

„Jason is dead.“

“Yeah, of course he is… What’s really the matter?”, Dick laughed nervously and sat down straight. But Bruce’s facial expression didn’t change and suddenly it hit him hard.

The room was filled with silence and a deafening pressure came over Dick, as he just stared at the fridge. With a plain black magnet there were photos taped to it. One of Dick where he must have been about 14 or so, in a fitted three piece suit, leaning to one of Bruce‘s expensive cars with a big smile on his lips.  
Then there was one of Jason here in the kitchen cooking something. Alfred had taught him, because Jason wanted to be able to take care of himself in case he was alone again some time in the future. 

Dick just stared at them and his head just went blank. One second. Two seconds. Three seconds. 

It must have been about five seconds before Dick felt a hand on his, but for him it had felt like ages sitting in a lighted room with nothing but his chair, the table and the fridge with those photos on it. They were from Alfred, obviously. He insisted to hang them there because you don’t put framed pictures up in a kitchen and he wanted to have them here all time. Maybe he was a bit more sentimental than he admitted to. 

A cold hand touched Dick‘s and he jolted up on his chair. Bruce trying to comfort him had never felt so weird and out of place. Dick could tell that he was still in his persona because of the look he gave him. 

„Jason is what?“, Dick finally asked, after pulling his hand out under Bruce‘s. He needed to hear it one more time. Just to be sure.

Whom was he kidding, he at least needed to hear it a million times over until it would reach till the back of his head and it would sit there and never go away. 

The feeling of… having disappointed someone.

His brain immediately shot back to their last conversation and ran over with things he could have said or could have done better. 

And that was the moment he saw that Jason was always there when he visited. Always talked to him, always tried to get his attention, even when he was pissed because of Bruce or something other. 

„He is dead, Dick.“

These words echoed in his head a million times.  
You never cared for him and now he’s dead and you pretend to be shocked? That’s what a voice in his head came up with and he wanted to smash it against a wall. Maybe when Bruce was not looking. 

„How?“, he managed to get out, his voice cracked. Maybe he was in shock, maybe it was because he was trained not to show his emotion, when he does not want to. In either way, he just sat there and looked at Bruce, shoving all those thought to the back of his head and asked: „What happened?“

Bruce explained to him, that Jason was in Sarajevo(?) looking for his mother who was allegedly alive. Long story short, the Joker tricked and trapped him, beat him into unconsciousness with a crowbar and left him in an exploding warehouse to die. 

Bruce was too late. 

Somewhere in the back of his head, Dick thought about how Bruce must feel, but what came out was: „Did you kill him?“

Bruce looked at him and it was Bruce, not Batman.  
„Who?“

„The Joker. Did you kill that sick son of a bitch?“, Dick spat out and just now noticed how straight and tense he was sitting in his chair. 

„Dick, I…“, Bruce started but that was enough for him. 

„He fucking killed Jason! How’s that still not enough for you to break your shitty promise?“, Dick shouted at him.  
„If you can’t do it, I will!“

He stood up and nearly threw over the chair. Immediately Bruce was on his side and blocked his way out. 

„Dick, you can‘t do that“  
And we were back with Batman.  
„If you’re gonna go now and kill him, you’re never going to get over that. That’s not you, Dick!“

But he just ignored everything and tried to move past his father figure. 

„How do you even know who I am?“  
Dick felt something warm and wet drip down on his hand and for a moment he wondered where that was coming from? Where did the water come from? 

Until he realized, that he was crying and that made him even more angry. Towards himself, towards Bruce. 

Towards everything, because he disappointed his little brother. Someone who was looking up to him and he was outrageous when he noticed that Bruce was right. If he’d kill the Joker now, he could never come past this. 

But he wanted to, oh how he wanted to. How he wanted to smash that grinning face into a wall and into the ground and pound into him until he wasn’t laughing anymore.

He thought about that during patrols two days later and maybe hit a small criminal a bit too hard on the head, picturing someone other. He was bleeding tremendously and lying unconscious on the floor. Dick was shocked for a split second and wasn’t able to move. After he remembered how to breathe again, he checked his pulse and called an ambulance, before grappling on top of a roof and calling it a day. 

When he laid in his bed and closed his eyes, he could see the Joker lying dead to his feet and blood on his hands. He had a smug grin on his lips but his head was screaming that this was wrong and he had killed someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all my love belongs to the people who comment and tell me what they think of it, I'm serious, I love you!


	3. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go on after Jason's dead and everyone tries to turn somewhat back to normal. Everyone is sad, everyone is crying and in the end it picks up smth that will be continued in the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a little shorter than the others, but I felt like making a cut there. This one and the next chapter are probably still a bit lame and full of angst but I promise that things will get more spicy after that! 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this so far, thank you for the kudos, I appreciate it very much! 
> 
> I'll link my Jason Todd playlist again (bc I like self promo and I would like you to listen to the same songs I listen to while I write this):
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1MNROJUAW4Fe4lN0Ws0Qx7?si=SzbF7z43TNOAtahAU7SY_Q
> 
> And I also have a playlist that's called 'tunes that hit me harder than a crowbar' what is pretty self explanatory in my opinion, so there you go, in case you feel like it: 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4SyFl0tsXvi8NJZRoYWBqk?si=-lm43wtyRb2m-SEoqzyRZg
> 
> And now I will give you that chapter (with warnings, it has much much angst ofc)

A few weeks later Dick decided to move back to Gotham, only temporarily, after he received a call from Alfred, who was telling him, that he was very worried about Bruce. Dick just didn’t want to move back into the manor, because having Bruce that close didn’t feel right at the moment. So he moved into one of their safehouses approximately 15 minutes away from the manor. He had asked Wally to look after Bludhaven for him and tried not to worry about that.

It was quiet every time he came to visit the manor. Dick hadn’t noticed before, but somehow it never had been so quiet, since Jason had always been there trying to talk to him or show him something new. It stung a little every time he set foot in the place, but he just ignored that like he ignored everything else. 

Alfred was out of place for the first few weeks. He really loved Jason, Dick knew that. So he sticked to coming around and bringing takeaway with him, since he wanted to help Alfred with cooking but didn’t wanna burn the manor down.

Bruce was nowhere to be seen, most of the time, and that made Dick worry as well. Alfred told him that Bruce was pushing himself too far, but Dick didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he even could do anything to comfort Bruce or tell him it wasn’t his fault.

Because it wasn’t. Dick had come to the point where he saw that it was not Bruce’s fault that Jason died. He came too late, it could’ve happened to anyone, it was just like… like fate. He had been angry the first few days at Bruce for not taking better care of Jason and not being there in the first place, but he saw it now.

Dick didn’t forgive Bruce for not killing the Joker though. Not yet. The more he thought about it, the more confused he got. It wasn’t right to kill people and he would not be better than the Joker if he started to kill now. It would break Bruce. If Jason’s death had not broke him already, that would have, sooner or later.

But then Dick thought how much better Gotham would be if the Joker was dead and gone for good. And that thought crept into the back of his head and stayed there a long time.

The first time Dick talked about it to Alfred, he broke down in tears. He couldn’t hold it anymore at that point and Alfred felt like the only person he could talk to about this. Alfred felt like the only person he could talk to in general. Bruce wasn’t made for this. He always got awkward, when he didn’t know what to say and now a days he took on a habit of slipping into his Batman persona ever so often if you wanted to talk to him about something personal.

So he talked to Alfred and Alfred was there, holding him when he started to cry and stuttered about how he disappointed Jason, how he never was the brother Jason had deserved. Alfred just hugged him, petted his hair and told him that Jason knew he had loved him.

“But have I really loved him?”, Dick’s crooked voice spat out and he felt more hot tears crawling down his cheeks.  
“If I really had loved him, I would have been there for him more…”, he went on, “Fuck! Why was I like this?”

Alfred just shushed him and said: “Don’t talk such nonsense! You do love him, it’s just how boys these age are. You were too busy with your own world and that’s nothing to be ashamed about. You built yourself a life, alone, and Jason knew you loved him. We all loved him…”

It was the first and only time he saw Alfred cry. 

His visits to the manor became weekly occurrences. He would visit, bring takeaway and try to talk to Bruce.  
Bruce though was never much of a talker. He just locked it all up inside of him and never talked about it, to let it eat him alive from the inside out.

So Dick mostly talked to Bruce about casual stuff or work related things and asked Alfred afterwards how Bruce was doing.  
He was getting better, of course he was, he was Bruce Wayne and Batman. He hat to get better.  
So this just rowed itself into a long list of issues, Bruce would never talk about and that just kept him going. He was doing it for Jason now, too.

The first time Dick saw Jason’s suit in that glass pillar, he felt a little nauseated. There was blood all over it and it was obviously damaged. He could see what it meant to Bruce though, that he would look at it and it would keep him going.  
And to remind himself to never let this happen again. To no one he loved. Ever again.

So when Dick met Tim Drake for the first time, he immediately felt that want to protect him of everything to come, like he wanted to protect Jason. Like he should have…  
He was angry at Bruce at first though, for replacing Jason just like that, when Bruce hadn’t even talked about it yet.  
It was another thing that brought up a conflict between them, but Dick let it go seemingly fast, because he didn’t want Tim to think, that he didn’t want him there. Batman would need a new Robin anyways, sooner or later, and this time Dick would be there for Tim. He would be the big brother Jason had deserved but never got.

The guilt was still there.  
Always there, in the back of his head.

So even when Dick moved back to Bludhaven, a few days after Alfred assured him, that Bruce would be fine and that he could handle it, he promised himself to visit more often. To just be there more often. 

He set dated with Tim where he would come over and do something together like going to the theatre.  
Tim almost talked to him the whole time, before and after the movie, about some new technical gadgets Bruce had gotten him or some new stuff he had come up with, Bruce was very proud of. The more Dick got to know him, the more he had to accept how dumb he really was. But then the first time Dick tried to hug him, Tim just froze and that was when Dick discovered that Tim also had a goddamn truckload of issues.

Then they agreed to call one another at least three times a week. Dick really enjoyed to talk to Tim every other day, just about casualties or his day job, since he had no one in Bludhaven and since that had made him feel free and independent at first when he moved here, he felt sometimes very lonely now. He hadn’t had that much time for his friends either recently and even though they tried to support him, they kind of just moved on.

Of course it was also Dick’s tactic to check up on Bruce without Bruce noticing.

So when he received a call from Alfred instead of Tim, Dick immediately knew that something was off.

“Master Richard, I am not pleased to ask you to come to the manor as soon as you can arrange it. Master Bruce worries me a lot lately and he won’t seem to talk to me.”

Dick just pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose. He didn’t really have time right now, but he promised Alfred to make time, because Alfred wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t serious. 

“Yes, of course. I’m coming tomorrow.”

Dick stored his phone back in his suit and sighed loudly.  
This family would kill him someday with their coping skills and emotional stability. 

Dick arrived at the manor the next day and Alfred just shoved a tray with two tea cups and a pot in his hands and patted him on the back while carefully pushing him to the secret door that led to the cave. 

Bruce sat in his chair, his suit on but his cowl down, brooding. Dick had never seen him look like that in all those years and, because this was worse than brooding Bruce and he saw it as he stepped closer. His foster father looked worse than ever, dark circles under his eyes and he had that dead stare, that was creeping Dick out. 

He approached him and put down the tray next to Bruce on the table. Bruce jumped just a little bit, startled by Dick, who could confirm that this had never happened before. There was something off, and it was bad. It was fucking bad.


	4. 4.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get even more angsty. How is this possible, you ask? I don't fucking now, so go read it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okokok so listen:   
> I'm like balls deep in my finals and don't have time to fucking breathe so I'll update this now, before it gets worse. 
> 
> Short disclaimer that I didn't read the comics where stuff happened that I wrote about, I just read about it on like the batman wikia or so and thought it would be cool to bring that up in my fanfic. So please refrain from correcting me and telling me whats canon, because I really don't care. Thx. (Sorry if I sound bitchy.)
> 
> And hear me out when I say that - finally - the next chapter will probably be what you are waiting for when you're here for the bird action. I won't lie to you and tell you that this is the last angsty chapter, but the next one will be almost without self-blame and stuff...
> 
> Pls do enjoy tho and leave your thoughts down below! If you would like to see anything happen here, just comment it and I'll see if I can fit it in! And of course thank you to the people who left kudos and comments etc. I love you all!!!

“Dick, have you seen Tim? I told him we would be off to patrol in five minutes.” It was Batman again, not Bruce. Every time he had to talk to Batman and not to Bruce he got a little angry, because he knew something was off and Bruce was just too stubborn for his own good to let it show. Even in front of Dick. He thought Bruce trusted him, and he did on a level. But not with this seemingly. 

“No, I haven’t. Bruce, we need to talk”, Dick started the conversation, because he did not have the patience for Bruce’s behaviour.

After his foster father did not answer him, Dick just continued: “Alfred called me and said you were worrying him.”

Bruce stood up, put on his cowl and turned his back to Dick, facing Jason’s suit behind the thick glass walls. Dick wasn’t trained by the greatest detective for nothing, to not pick this up. What was it about Jason that had brought Bruce where he was right now. They all got better, Jason was gone but not forgotten, as you would poetically say so. They had to move on and they did. But what was it that got Bruce back to this place? 

Dick decided to join Batman and Robin on their patrol this night, saying he wanted to spend time with Tim, but secretly watching Bruce. And Alfred had been more than right to call him.   
That night, Batman searched for fights. He didn’t break them up, he initiated most of them and didn’t stop until Nightwing intervened. His fighting was more sloppy as usual, not as precise.   
Everything was more than just a little off and Dick couldn’t seem to get it. It was making him worry more. 

It took Dick three days of staying in Gotham and nearly hovering over Bruce, before he seemed to open up to him. Dick hadn’t seen much of Bruce in that time though, because he was on a so called ‘secret mission’ that he wouldn’t tell anyone anything about. It just made Dick more angry. Were they not good enough to know what the almighty Batman was up to? 

Tim and Dick were in the training room of the cave, Dick two bamboo sticks in his hands, Tim a single longer one, when they heard Bruce come back. He had been gone all night. Dick motioned Tim to take a break and put his training weapons back, walking outside to - again - hover over Bruce until he told him what on earth his problem was. 

He spotted Bruce sitting in front of his computers, his face buried in his hands. His shoulders were shaking and hid cowl was hanging down his back. 

“What-”, Dick wanted to ask, but held back. He had never seen Bruce cry before. Of course he had seen him sad, after Jason died the whole house was a fucking burial 24/7, or at least it felt like it. But he hadn’t seen him cry once in this whole time. 

Dick didn’t blame him or thought he hadn’t love Jason, it was just the way Bruce dealt with things. Slipping into his Batman persona as soon as something got difficult for him. Dick had accommodated to this long ago, but not to this. Not to his father figure crying.

He approached Bruce and just laid a hand on his shoulder. His foster father had never been a touchy person, they hugged every now and then to special occasions but never more. Dick could never grasp how Bruce had manage to hold that playboy image up for so long, when he hated those people and being around them and being touched by them. 

So Dick stood there, giving Bruce - the man who raised him, even if it had been very questionable at some points - the support he thought was right at this moment, feeling probably just as lost as him.   
It felt like hours passed, but the big clock on the screens in front of them told him it had been about ten minutes until Bruce raised his head again. 

Dick looked around to see if Tim was still there, but his brother was gone. 

“Tell me”, Dick just said and Bruce looked at him. 

“They… they used him. I thought... “, Bruce began but started over, shaking his head, standing up and walking away a few steps. 

“It was about two weeks ago when I first saw him. I couldn’t tell you where he came from, it was just… He was just there. And he looked so much like him, it was him.”

Bruce didn’t need to clarify anything, who he was talking about. The way he was acing, brooding and staring at the dead Robin’s suit inside that glass cage… it was obvious he was talking about Jason.

“I was so sure this couldn’t have happened but i saw him again and again until I was almost certain.”

Dick held his breath the whole time. It couldn’t really be Jason, then Bruce wouldn’t be sitting here like that.

“It… wasn’t him. The whole time I was off alone I was tracking him down, trying to find him, to talk to him and tonight I did find him. Just to find out how the Riddler had played a trick on me again and it was Clayface the whole time.”

Bruce’s eyes were dead, he was just staring into the open space. 

And it was the first time Dick didn’t know how to comfort someone. He somehow always knew what to do, what to say, but this was different. He never had to do this with Bruce, because Bruce never let this one wall down in front of anyone. Except he just did. And Dick was scared to do the wrong thing when approaching his father figure and pulling him into a hug.

Just when Bruce suddenly hugged him back, he knew he didn’t do the wrong thing. This feeling in his guts had been right all over again, what a surprise. Dick Grayson the emotional support animal. 

This day was the first time Bruce opened up about Jason. To anyone probably. After an almost uncomfortably long hug, they started talking and Bruce started talking about how he felt the whole time.   
It was easy to Dick, he was always on the side of ‘talking about your feelings is always better than ignoring them’ but Bruce was just the other way around. 

It felt good to finally talk to Bruce about the whole thing, to tell him how he felt about everything that had happened. About the guilt still sitting in the back of his head and deep down in his guts.   
Dick could see it was good for Bruce too, to talk about all that happened. 

The next day Dick went back to Bludhaven, after telling Alfred all about it and Timmy about ¾ of it. A small voice in his head told him to not tell Tim everything, because Bruce wouldn’t want that. They still had a different relationship than Dick and Bruce. 

Dick asked Alfred to keep him updated on how Bruce was doing, after that, and in the next weeks it got better.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightwing and Red Hood meet for the first time during a child trafficking thing and oh well, you'll see how that goes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am back again!
> 
> So this chapter is actually a bit longer, because normally my chapters aren't that short, it just felt right to post them that way, I guess. 
> 
> Everything gets a lot crispier in this chapter tho, so be prepared!   
> I don't yet know if I should make this fanfic explicit in like sexual things and would very much like your opinion on this! 
> 
> I don't actually know when the next chapter's gonna come, because I haven't written it yet and I'm still balls deep in my finals cri. So don't think I've abandoned this in case I don't update next week.   
> Also don't abandon me pls, thank you very much, I am still very insecure about this whole thing hah. 
> 
> Thank you again for the comments, kudos and bookmarks! I love you all!! <3

The rain hit his face like a thousand needles, as he grappled himself over the roofs of Bludhaven - his city, as he dared to call it now. It had been almost four years now since he had moved here. Everything had accommodated to some kind of routine now. Bludhaven wasn’t very often the target of some mass murdering sociopath, or maybe that one psycho clown, but there was still a high criminality rate. Busting drug traffics - like today - was almost a daily occurrence for him now. Due to being an Officer, he always knew where to find them and being Nightwing also helped him at his dayjob. 

This night it was the first time he heard someone mention him. 

As he was sitting right above them, still unnoticed, because - apparently - they were morons and didn’t think of checking their surroundings good enough. So Dick could listen very good to every word they said, catching that name.

“Do you really think about quitting and going to him?”

“I heard he pays a fair wage and provides enough protection as long as you play by his rules…”

“But what will keep him from killing you when you break them? Do you wanna end up as a head in a duffle bag, too?”

“Do you really believe the Red Hood killed all those men? I mean, they weren’t easy to get at all. Very good protected.”

“Of course he did it, you heard of his reputation by now. Have you seen him?”

“Red Hood himself? No, only heard people talking about him.”

“I can tell you, you don’t wanna mess with this guy!”

The Red Hood.

New faces in the business were always exciting for Dick. Mostly because the newbies always liked to underestimate him, what gave him a big advantage. Secondly, it made things more fun fore him, spice everything up a bit. Drug traffics got boring… a guy like that Red Hood sounded like trouble and that was a promise for Dick.

The next Time he was at the manor, he mentioned that overheard conversation in front of Bruce. Just casually, asking if he had heard anything about the ‘new guy’ in the buiz yet.  
Bruce just told him that he seemed to have ‘stolen’ the old persona of the Joker, but he couldn’t think of anything personal behind this.

A few weeks later Dick was on to a rather big thing involving a child trafficking ring. He was texting Tim, who promised to back him up a bit on this, because he didn’t want to go into this unprepared when children were involved.

Dick opened the intercom and pulled out his phone where Tim had sent him the exact locations of the containers. Containers. That word made him shiver. The thought alone to see children cramped into a cold, dark container, fearing for their lives, made him a little nauseated.

“Hey, Robin, you there?”, he asked through the intercom and stored his phone away again after memorizing the location. 

“Yes, N, never been more present…”, came Tim’s voice crooked and tired through the little thing stuck in his ear. Of course Tim was tired, this boy never slept. He was all head over heels for some new technical gadget or something new he found out he could do with Bruce’s computer and just inhaled so much caffeine that he was awake for seemingly three days straight and passing out from exhaustion sooner or later.

“I’m on my way to the location now, heard of any interferences yet?”  
Better safe than sorry was one of his mottos. You could never know too much before going into a fight, and knowing the number of thugs you were up against before you fell into them was an advantage he didn’t wanna lose. 

“No, nothing. It’s been very quiet around there. The cameras that I can overview show me a few men walking around, standing patrol. You need to be careful though, I can’t tell you in which container the kids are being kept, so no explosives whatsoever”, Tim told him, while he was on a straight way to the port, almost skipping above the roofs of Bludhaven. 

“By the way, thanks for backing me up on this. You sure Bruce won’t find out?”  
Dick still wasn’t sure if he wanted Bruce to find out that Tim had to assist him sometimes. 

“Really? Who do you think I am? An amateur?”, Tim laughed and yawned right after that. 

“You should really go to sleep, you know that…”, Dick started and grappled himself on one of the cranes at the port, silently landing on the metal bars.

“I’m backing you up, you forgot? It’s okay, I can take it…” Tim tried to suppress another yawn, but Dick obviously heard it and ‘tsk’ed almost inaudibly.

“Sleep, Robin. I’m here now, doesn’t seem like much of a big deal. If anything happens, I can still count on B to back me up.”

Dick took in his surroundings, while arguing with Tim to get him to go to sleep. He finally agreed and after he went off, Dick also turned his intercom off. 

The night was chill, but what would you expect from Bludhaven this time of the year? Cold night air drifted over his face as he scanned the surroundings on the floor. Three guys at the entrance, two around the corner, one in front of a container with a door (Dick made a sidenote to check inside of that later) and another three walking around, patrolling. No one had heard him or seen him yet and he was pretty sure this was going to be easy. 

His fingers cramped into the rusty metal just the second he was about to jump, as he saw something red out of the corner of his eye approaching. He changed his position to another crane, a higher one, because he couldn’t really see what was going on. 

It was a man, wearing a red helmet and a brown leather jacket. He seemed to casually approach the three guys standing guard at the entrance. This had to be Red Hood. Dick was suddenly thrilled with anticipation to finally meet this new crimelord.   
It seemed to be his men, of course it was his plan. Why not start your career with a little child trafficking? It made Dick sick.

Expecting that the guards would let Hood through, Dick was a little confused when he heard the first shot. It rang through the air and even up high, still on top of this old, rusty crane, Dick could hear it loud and clear.   
Hood had drawn a weapon and shot one of the guards. The other two were launching themselves at him with their enormous bodys, but Hood still towered over them. He didn’t even seem to break a sweat, when he kicked the first one to the ground, pulled a second gun on the third thug and shot him first in the knee, then in the head. After that he made sure number two wouldn’t get up any time soon and shot him in the back.

Dick couldn’t quite grasp what he had just witnessed. Why on earth would Red Hood bother with these guys. What was the point of all that? 

Very eager to find out, Dick finally launched himself into the air and dove down, while five other guys came running at Hood, probably alarmed by the shots. By the time his feet touched the ground - or more the solid metal of the container he landed on - Hood had already brought one man to the ground. Dick had to commit, this guy was impressive. 

“Mind if I join ya?”, Dick blurted out, cocky smile on his lips, and pulled out his escrima sticks.   
“Don’t think, we’ve been introduced before, but I guess you know who I am…” 

Hood didn’t seem surprised at all to see Nightwing popping into his fight.  
“Oh, you’ve made it finally. What a surprise! I don’t think that I have to properly introduce myself either”, came a electronically modified voice to Dick’s ear. 

Two of the remaining thugs launched themselves at Nightwing now, who just spat out a jokingly “Oh, you’re sharing 50/50 with me, that’s just so nice of you!” before dodging the first two attacks. 

Big hulky thugs were always so easy. They were all muscle and no brain most of the time. Slow motions, slow punches, always from the same directions.   
Dick admitted he was a bit of a showoff, while doing a backflip to dodge on of the high flying punches one of them tried to give, but miserably failed. It was almost too easy for him, made no fun at all. None of them even grazed him, while he kicked the first one straight in the kidneys, ramming his escrima into the other thugs diaphragm, making him cough and groan in pain.   
Blood splattered onto his suit, but not from his punches.   
Dick went for the knee next, probably dislocating a shoulder afterwards, dealing a few punches and kicking both of them in the balls twice. People who sold children deserved nothing less. 

But when he turned around, another gunshot pierced the cold air around them, followed by a loud thud. Then another gunshot and the two left groaning in pain.

“Here are Kids involved, Hood. Don’t want them to be even more traumatized…”, Dick scolded and turned around, facing the big man in the leather jacket. 

“Oh are there? Who would’ve guessed? Thought I was here to rescue a few whiney bitches like you”, Hood shot straight back at him. He must’ve been at least a few inches taller than Dick and much more built. His thighs alone were something to speak of. 

Dick could appreciate a fine body when he saw one, and this was definitely one. No doubts about that. 

„I’m not whiney...“, Dick muttered under his breath and followed Hood who approached a container nearby. 

„There’s still two left, one ran off to the other one there“, Hood said while pointing in the direction Dick had seen one guy stand alone. „Gotta get the kids out of here first tho… Can you get them?“, Red Hood asked, turning around to Dick and jerking his head in the direction of the container. 

„How do you know where they are?“, Dick asked confused and approached Hood. The vigilante stepped back, though, and cocked his head at Dick. 

„I watched them. Since“, he looked took his phone out and looked at the screen, „about five hours.“ His voice was emotionless and sounded slightly strange through the helmet. 

„They stuffed the kids in here maybe 15 min before you landed your ass on that crane“, he said, pointing up and Dick‘s eyebrows shot up. He tried not to seem shocked, that Hood knew the whole time that he was there. How did he know though? 

Even though Dick couldn’t see his face, he could picture Hood’s smug grin underneath that helmet and he started to wonder what he looked like. Was he handsome? Or was he wearing that helmet because he was ugly or had scars all over his face?

“Yo, don’t zone out on me, Boy Wonder”, Hood snapped his fingers in Front of Dick’s face. 

“I’m not”, Dick shot back, while wondering where this new criminal - or was he? - had picked up that nickname Dick hated since he left the Robin suit like hand me downs for Jason.

For a second that felt like it was lasting a year, Dick felt that pang of guilt deep in his stomach. It didn’t happen often nowadays, he didn’t really blame himself for anything anymore, but there was still this small, bickering voice in the back of his head telling him, that Jason would have never been killed if he had never left the Robin mantle for somebody else to take. Because let’s be honest, how could he ever expect from Bruce to not scoop a new kid off the streets as soon as he was gone.

But Dick reminded himself again how it wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t Bruce’s fault either. The only thing he could blame himself for was not paying enough attention to a kid, who surely would have needed it, though this was a mistake he had to forgive himself. He was doing better now, taking care of Tim when he needed him, and paying attention that something like Jason’s death would never happen again to any of his loved ones.

“Gotcha, you were just doing it again, dumbass. Now call the fucking cops and get those kids out of here, so I can take care of these hiding bastards.” 

Dick didn’t know what had gotten into him when he turned on his intercom to ask his foster father to call the police for him. These were the small things he let people help him with. Other people than Tim, that is, but he didn’t want to wake his baby brother.   
Did he just take an order from Red Hood without questioning anything? 

This question rolled over his brain like a tidal wave. He’d had a big load to unpack and overthink once he was home, staring at his ceiling, laying in his bead and trying to fall asleep so he would be well rested for his shift tomorrow. 

So a litre of coffee it was - again.

Just as Red Hood turned around to walk away, something in Dick’s mind clicked. ‘...so I can take care of these hiding bastards’.

“Stop right there, Hood. What does ‘taking care’ mean coming from you?”, Dick ask, making asterisks with his fingers once Hood had turned back around to face him again.   
Even though Dick couldn’t see his face, he knew how Hood smirked underneath that mask. He heard it as he spoke up, heard it in his voice.

“What do you think it means, Nightwing?”  
Of course his ears immediately picked up on the way he said his name. Like it was an insult. 

(A lot to unpack.)


	6. 6.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick gets introduced to the new criminal that is calling himself the Red Hood. 
> 
> Some weird things happen afterwords.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still alive, heh, yes... I'm sorry for postponing this for so fucking long! I'm just warning you here: this is likely to happen again, so if you see that I haven't updated in a while, just comment or shoot me a message, whatever. I sometimes need a reminder...
> 
> This chapter will bring you closer to the jucy stuff, I promise.   
> I got, like, a few chapters finished now, so there will be stuff coming in the next weeks! Right on time for all you thirsty people who are in quarantine rn!
> 
> btw, I got a twitter that I mostly use for my art, but I'll link it anyways, if anyone of you wants to scream at me on more than one website...
> 
> https://twitter.com/m1911ari

Dick takes a second to take in Red Hoods body language. It’s a bit difficult for him to read the man in front of him, when he can’t see his face, but he wasn’t trained by the world’s greatest detective for nothing.

“I will not let you kill them, too. I will call the police and they will pick them up cuffed and maybe unconscious but not in a body bag”, Dick states confident and tightens the grip on his escrima sticks.

Hood just laughs and it sounds a bit strange through the distortion in the helmet. 

„So cute when he thinks he has a say in it…“

And somehow that’s what sets Dick off. He launches himself at Hood and hits about one good blow before his attacks are blocked. Each one after the other. 

Hood definitely has more strength than him, but he is big and slow. At least that was what Dick had expected from someone that was built like a fridge. Of course he would be proven wrong, because somehow Hood could forsee almost every god damn move, punch, kick and flip Dick made and fighting was almost a lost cause.

Almost.

He still had his escrima sticks and every hit with the electricity on hurt like a bitch, dare he say it. Dick knew that fact from first hand experience.

So it took him a lot more skill and flips than usual, but at least he could say the Red Hood kept the promises made by his reputation.   
A reputation he had build in such a short time, it was almost scary. 

“Did I set you off, bird boy?”, Hood mocked the same time he landed a blow to Dick’s kidneys that almost made him throw up. Almost. 

Dick decided to ignore that comment and shoved his escrima stick to Hood’s diaphragm. He was almost certain that he heard him cough under that mask, but at the same time Hood landed a blow that was supposed to bring him off balance. 

Of course it was not an easy task to bring Dick Grayson off balance.

Dick used his full weight doing a backflip and kicking Hood in the face. That was the first thing that granted him a real advantage over his opponent and he managed to throw him to the ground and pin him there.

“When I’m around we do things my way. I don’t care that you got your panty in a twist, but there will be no more dead people than there already are, Hood, you got me?”

Dick heard him chuckle underneath that mask.  
“Calm your ass, blue bird, I’ll just knock them out if it bothers you that much…”

That was a thing that Dick hadn’t expected. He also didn’t expect that Hood was gone before the cops were even near their location.   
Dick managed to juggle the deeply traumatized children and just grappled away seconds before the cops arrived. No one needed to see Nightwing’s face up close and wonder why he looked so similar to Officer Dick Grayson.

The next two months it occurred more often than Dick would have thought. Meeting the Red Hood during patrol.   
It mostly had to do with his business of drug selling, but that was not surprising at all.

What Dick noticed during that - mostly short natured - meetings though was, that the infamous Red Hood, who gained such a frightening reputation in such a short time for killing and beheading a hand full of men, was definitely a more decent person than any other criminal Dick had ever met in his career as spanks wearing bullseye. 

His men were only allowed to sell to people who were 18 or older and were killed on the spot if Hood found out they sold their stuff to children or pregnant women. He also kept a clean policy on molesting women. Every man who was caught taking a ‘no’ for an invitation lost his balls faster than he could spell ‘castration’. 

Every man who was provenly killed by the Red Hood either was one of his men that didn’t obey his rules, or some criminal who Dick had only put in cuffs. But nevertheless, they weren’t innocent.

And that’s the thing, the part of the puzzle that doesn’t fit, when Dick gets a call from Bruce, that the Red Hood had beat up Tim so bad, that he was in the hospital with a concussion, severe head trauma and two broken ribs. 

Dick didn’t eat for two days straight and made one of his emergency calls to Wally, to look after Bludhaven for him. Only for a few days, he told himself. Only until he knew Tim would be better.  
He would never make the same mistake again.   
He couldn’t lose a brother again. 

So Dick sat at Tim’s bedside until Bruce almost had to carry him to the manor to sleep in a proper bed. 

When Dick asked Tim about the attack, why it had happened, his little brother didn’t remember much. The only thing that stuck with him was Red Hood calling him ‘replacement’ and telling him to ‘get out of there’ before they got rid of him and adopted a new one.

Everything felt strange for two weeks, until Dick was sure, Tim was stable again and Alfred assured him everything would be fine even without him hovering. 

The night he went back to Bludhaven, he couldn’t sleep. His thoughts were consumed by Red Hood. How he had come to know him just this little bit - or so he thought - and how everything he learned about him in the past two weeks just didn’t fit, no matter how much he thought about it.

Three cups of coffee in the morning, again. Who was surprised by now? 

It was almost four weeks later that Dick caught a glimpse of red in the corner of his eye, as he grappled himself over the rooftops. He forgot his patrol schedule immediately and made a 180° turn to head for the red figure hunched in a rooftop.

“Why the fuck did you do that?!”, Dick shouted at him and almost launched himself at Hood. Due to the fact that Hood had his guard down, not counting on some blue bird attacking him out of nowhere, Dick was able to land a few clean punches straight to Hood’s guts and kidneys. 

“Oh, of course. The cavalry coming to punish me because I touched the precious baby bird…”, Hood grunted out, still managing to sound fake concerned, while Dick was pinning him to the roof of that building. 

“Don’t”, he huffed out and pushed his arm firmly against Hood’s throat, caging him.  
“The reason, I want to know the fucking reason!”

“Oh, I see, it’s serious, you’re starting to use swear words…”, his opponent said in a mockingly unbothered way that made Dick charge for a blow that hit Hood straight in the guts. An almost inaudible grunt came to Dick’s ears but that was enough confirmation for him. 

“Okay, calm down, Boy Wonder…”, Hood sighed and lifted his arms in surrender. Dick loosened his grip on him, thinking he would cooperate and talk to him this time, but, of course, he was a god damned fool for always thinking the best of people. 

Red Hood suddenly threw his whole weight against Dick, bringing him off balance, and spun him around, so he was the one being caged to a wall, face first, now.

“I did it,”, Hood whispered through his mask, “because you all are fucking pretender and the fucking replacement can eat ass!”

The next moment the weight against his body was gone and the rooftop empty. 

Dick had a feeling, something turned his guts around. There was something off, something very strange going on, and he wanted to know why Hood was talking such bullshit and calling Tim ‘replacement’. 

What did he even know about Robin?

The next two weeks were relatively boring and uneventful. Dick was on the lookout for Red Hood when he was on patrol, but, of course, Bludhaven was not Hood’s city, so normally he wasn’t here often.  
Dick wondered why he bothered visiting this shithole in the first place.

He was on patrol the night the call came in over the intercom. 

It was Tim, what set him off slightly.   
Bruce calling for his help was a rare occasion, but something that happened now and then when his foster father didn’t want to bother Tim for some reason.

But Tim calling him randomly over the intercom had him on edge immediately. 

“Robin calling Nightwing. Can you hear me, N?”

“Loud and clear, baby bird. What’s the matter?”

Dick was already on the way to the place where he parked his bike. Would be the fastest way to get into Gotham right now. 

“N, we need you. Red Hood blew up a warehouse with Bruce and the Joker inside and I can’t find Bruce. He called me for backup 15 minutes ago and hasn’t responded since.”

Dick could hear the fear in Tim’s voice. He still wasn’t used to being in situations that were this seriously life threatening. 

“Give me ten minutes, I’m starting my bike as we speak. Try to locate him and stay calm, baby bird, I’m over in a heartbeat!”, Dick promised and with that he sped off to find Gotham burning and it’s dark knight washed up on the shore of the harbor. 

The Red Hood vanished for almost two months after the incident.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce tells Dick that Jason is back and that he's the red hood, pretty simple... or is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, I don't know, just take it off, I wrote parts of this a long time ago and parts like two weeks ago so... just read it.

He received a text from Bruce on the next day, asking him to come to the manor. Dick was still confused by Hoods disappearing, despite him telling Dick that he will „see soon“. What the fuck did he mean with that? 

Dick still thought he was pretty attractive, even without knowing what his face looked like. Just his attitude was something and being good at handling guns just came on top of that all. He thought about that while driving to the manor in the afternoon. 

Dick had a short flashback, as Bruce opened the door and not Alfred. But he brushed it off and followed him inside. 

Bruce led him to the kitchen and told him to sit down. It was oddly and uncomfortably familiar and Dick didn’t like where that was going.

„What is this about Bruce? The last time you made such a fuzz, someone died…“, he jokingly said and sat down at the table. 

While Bruce face stayed the same, blank and without expression, Dick‘s face dropped.

„Don’t tell me someone died again“, Dick said in a firm but quiet tone. 

Bruce sat down in front of him and just looked at him. Dick‘s pulse began to rise.  
Was it Tim? Did he get his head smashed in by Red Hood again?

„We have to talk about Jason, Dick“, Bruce said in such a calm tone and Dick just got more nervous.

„That’s a sick fucking dejavu, Bruce. Don’t do that to me again!“, Dick blurted out and didn’t notice how his fingers were shaking. 

„Dick, Jason is alive.“

That hit Dick like a truck.   
Even more than the last time they sat at this table like this talking about Jason Todd. 

His eyes just drifted back to the fridge where he noticed for the first time a picture of Tim and another one of Jason added to the first two one.

„That’s not everything, Dick, you need to listen to me!“, Bruce‘s voice came through a big ball of cotton, but it was there.

„Jason is Red Hood. I had a feeling, a suspicion. But a week ago he lured me into a warehouse and held a gun to Joker's head. Told me either I should shoot him or he would and I-“

„You knew the whole time?!“, Dick cut Bruce and jumped out of his chair. 

„You knew he was alive, you even had a fucking suspicion before and you didn’t say anything?!“, Dick shouted at him. He started strolling through the kitchen, throwing everything evil and all the rage at Bruce, that he had collected over the years.

„I didn’t know for sure! The last time I thought Jason was alive, was… I didn’t want to tell you before I was sure.“, Bruce‘s voice got a bit louder and he stood now, too.

„But even when you were sure, you didn’t tell me for a whole week?! How even is he alive anyway? What is this? I-“, Dick stopped himself and just left. He couldn’t deal with this right now. 

He had to find Jason.

The next time he saw the Red Hood was a week later. He was standing on a rooftop, sniper rifle in one hand, his phone in the other. Dick landed behind him, silently approaching him.

„How the fuck could you do that, Jason?“, Dick just threw at him and just crossed his arms in front of his chest like a pouty six year old.

Hood turned around slowly, storing his phone in his jacket and tipped his head to the side. 

„Oh I see, Daddy told you“, he just said and lifted his hands to his helmet. With a smug clicking sound he unlocked it and took it off.

It was Jason. It really was him. Some voice in his head had told him, that Bruce was wrong and there was no possible way that Jason could be alive and that he was going to be disappointed again. 

But there he stood.

He wore his domino underneath his helmet, but Dick would recognize that smug grin everywhere. 

His edges were sharpened out, a streak of white hair hanging softly into his face, contrasting to the black. His eyes were white but Dick could picture them behind his domino. 

„What, am I that ugly, Dickie?“, Jason joked and Dick just felt a strange feeling inside his guts as Jason had called him ‚Dickie‘.

„No, I’m- you- Why did you do that?“, he stopped, lifting one hand to his head.  
„Why did you do that to Bruce? Why did you do that to me?!“, he nearly pleaded for an answer, but a feeling told him, that he wasn’t gonna get one. And that feeling was normally right.

„Did he send you to talk to me?“, Jason just calmly asked .

„What? No! Jason I’m here because you were dead and… and now you- you aren’t and-“

„Oh it’s a miracle! I know Goldie, I was the one who was dead.“  
Jason shifted his weight to one foot and crossed his arms as well, helmet still in hand. 

„So you were dead for real- like… you were…“  
He stocked.

„Yes, I was dead. Beaten, exploded, buried. When that’s all you have to bring forward, I’m on a tight schedule so I have to go“, Jason answered, well he answered one of his 5000 questions and went to put his helmet back on. 

„No, Jason! Don’t go! I’m- you don’t even know how glad I am to see you!“, Dick blurts out and Jason stops in motion and drops his helmet again, on the floor this time. 

„Ah, yeah. You’re glad. I think so, too…“ Jason rolled his eyes and despite them being fully white because of his domino, Dick knew it from the way he sighed.  
„I say it again, Dick, if that’s all you got, I’m going.“

Dick made another step towards him and Jason backed off. 

„Jason, you are alive! Do you know how happy I am? I thought I’d lost you!“   
Dick waved his arms around because he didn’t know what to do with them. 

„You? You lost me? You didn’t even fucking notice me when I was alive! You didn’t even do one thing against the joker in all those years!“, Jason now shouted at him.   
„You let him beat me up and fuckin kill me, just fucking tucked me in a coffin and you just left it! You went on with your fucking shit life and just got a new brother, that you could pamper because now you had time for other human beings than yourself, apparently!“ 

Jason just stood there looking at him and when Dick tried to take a step forward, he backed off again. 

„It wasn’t like that, Jason! I- I wanted to go after him, I-“

„Oh you wanted? And what did you do?“ 

A hot wave of guilt rolled over him, even tho he had left it behind long ago. Dick shook his head and suddenly heard Bruce voice in his head, telling him he couldn’t beat the joker. For a second he wanted to go out there right now, had all that rage back, just like back then. He curled his hand into a fist, pressed his nails into the skin but when his eyes came across Jason again, it was all gone.

„Do you know how devastated we were?! How devastated Bruce was?!“, Dick now countered and one of his hands wandered into his hair, pulling on the strands nervously.

„Of course! Bruce here, Bruce there! You fucking buried me and didn’t think a second about avenging me! You let this criminal, this psychopath walk the earth and torture more people than he already had! And then Bruce sends you to talk me down and what not, probably to make me an obedient son again“, Jason shouted and glared at him. 

„That’s not true! Bruce didn’t tell me to do anything! Fuck Bruce!“, Dick replied by shouting back. He took off his domino, not exactly knowing why he did it, but wishing Jason did the same, so that he could look him in the eye. 

„Why are you here then when you didn’t give a flying fuck about me before I died?“

Jason picked up his helmet again and just ignored Dick who was trying to explain… he didn’t even know what he actually wanted to tell him because somewhere he knew that Jason was right.

No Jason wasn’t right, he did give a fuck about him, he was just a little bit too occupied to notice how much Jason wanted his attention back then. 

He put his helmet back on and despite Dick trying to get him to stay and talk to him, Jason turned around and stepped to the brink of the roof. 

„See you around, Dickie“, he just said and with that he jumped off the roof and seconds later Dick heard a motorcycle engine roar.

He looked at his domino in his hand and put it back on, just now realizing he took it off in public. He was on a high rooftop but still in public. Rookie mistake.


End file.
